Mama
by Bulldust
Summary: When pups come of age they must wean off their mother's milk, but the trust between mother and pup is as strong as it is blinding.


Warning: Death, gore, negative relationships, implied themes

We started going outside the den. It's really cold outside. And bright. I was having a hard time seeing because my eyes hurt a lot. It's fun to go outside though. I like to play with my kin and put everything I see in my mouth to figure out what it is. I like to say hello to the bigger kin outside, they're too big to sleep with us. Only Mama can sleep with us inside. I liked Mama. She was big, way bigger than me. She has fur that looks like clouds and her eyes look like dirt. Another bigger kin I like is the big darker one. He's not as dark as the den but he's just as warm. I like to play with his nose.

I was playing with my kin when Mama came to us with something weird. We all stumbled up to Mama as she dropped it in front of us. It looked like a big wet stick with fur. We nibbled and licked at it, trying to figure out what it was. It tasted different than what Mama always fed us, but in a good way. Mama didn't get mad when we started to chew on it, so we must be doing something good. We messed with the weird stick for a while until we got bored.

We started to go outside more when we learned how to walk without falling over. Mama told us that weird stick was called 'elk' and that it was what we will eat. I liked 'elk'. It was different from what we always ate and it was fun to play with.

I was tugging at a bit of fur on an elk leg while the bigger kin talked behind me. They didn't sound happy. They were talking in a quiet voice and using big words I didn't understand. The bits I did understand were 'elk' and 'moving'. Did that mean we were going to the elk? I felt a thrill of excitement at the thought of seeing an elk and I skipped over to the bigger kin. I rammed my head into the darker kin's side, cutting off their talking.

It was really cold and dark outside today. It wasn't nice like the den, it was sadder and really weird. The sky was dropping these little specks onto the ground, it looked and felt like Mama's tongue, but it was colder and harder. Papa, the darker bigger kin, said it was 'rain', and I made sure to sit inside the den all day so the rain wouldn't get me. The den is growing smaller now, and it's getting harder to fit inside with Mama. The bigger kin had to stay outside in the rain, they just couldn't fit.

I tucked myself into a little dent inside the den and watched the bigger kin outside, confused. They looked different out there, covered in rain. Their fur was stuck to their sides like when I got stuck in mud. Papa and Mama had skinny bodies on top of skinny legs. They looked sad. I don't know how to say it. They weren't saying they're sad, they just looked sad.

When the rain stopped I climbed outside and tried to walk to Papa. The rain made the ground soft and cold, and I cried at the touch. Mama heard me and picked me up and we both were back inside the den. She felt cold and her fur was a mess. I tried to scramble away, but she pushed me up against her with her paw. I couldn't budge.

After the rain fell a couple of days ago, we stopped getting elk. The food we ate got weirder and weirder. The bigger kin started to bring us small things they found in the far outside, where the elk came from. Sometimes they were green and slimy, like old leaves or the green stuff outside the den. We played with the legs when we were done. And sometimes we got really old food that the bigger kin brought us. That food was covered in a lot of dirt and smelled bad. We didn't want to make Mama angry so we ate it and kept quiet. We weren't allowed to throw it up.

I was sitting outside playing with a rock when Mama came back to us with a pup. I got up and gathered with my kin to look at it as she dropped it on the ground. There was something wrong with it. It as brown like us, but its face was weird. We were all unsure if it was okay. I poked its still body. Nothing. There was something wrong with the pup with the weird face. I lifted my head up to Mama with a saddened whine.

Mama looked down at me without anything on her face, but she then smiled and gently told us, "It's alright children, this isn't a pup like you." We gave her confused looks and she said, "Look, see its teeth? They don't look like pup teeth." She used her big feet to open the weird face's mouth. Its teeth didn't look like mine. Relieved and hungry we started chewing and pulling at the weird face, and Mama sat and watched us.

As we ate more and more weird foods we began to learn what they were called. The slimy thing was a frog, and the weird face was a rabbit. Soon, Mama stopped feeding us the old way, and meat was our regular food now. Over the days we've been growing bigger, and soon Mama couldn't fit inside the den with us. She always insisted that we stay inside when she was away looking for good.

I was in a big play fight with my sister when Mama appeared out of nowhere with our food. We bounded up and started to bite it without question, pulling it apart. I stopped eating for a second, I put the food down and I looked at it while my kin ate. It looked like a big rabbit, and it tasted funny. It tasted very strange. Stranger than the frogs we ate sometimes. I turned to Mama and asked, "What is it?"

Mama gave a tired sigh, her face was skinny, "It's a rabbit sweetie, just like I said before," I started to say something but her tired expression changed into anger. She gave a growl and snapped her teeth at me, "I said, it's _rabbit_. Now stop asking questions and _eat it_." I ran away from her anger, I didn't mean to make her mad. After eating I stayed in the den for the rest of the day.

The food we ate wasn't like elk or rabbits, but I was too scared to ask questions. Mama always got mad when we asked questions. When Mama wasn't mad she was tired. Mama and the bigger kin were beginning to look skinny even when it wasn't raining, and I felt bad. I tried to leave some food once, but Mama found out and got really angry. My ear still hurts where she bit me.

I was napping when I heard Mama talk to one of my kin. I opened my eye to see Mama talking to the littlest sister. Mama's voice was quiet and nice, and she didn't look mad. She guided my littlest kin into the woods, and I laid my head back down. It was nice to see Mama happy.

It's been a few days since my littlest sister left us. Mama said she fell in a creek. She warned us to never leave the den, or else we would be gone too. We were scared. So scared and fearful of what was in the woods. Every night when the sun went down we all ran into the den. We didn't want to get lost in the dark. It was scary at night, we would hear strange noises outside, and angry whispers. One night I stayed up to listen. It was hard to hear, but I could hear Papa talking to Mama. He sounded sad, and afraid.

".. can't keep doing this… not right…. wrong…" I tried my best to listen close, and I jumped when I heard a sudden cry. I heard soft whimpers and then Mama's voice, quiet and mad. I couldn't hear what she said, but I felt my spine shiver in fear. I tucked myself as close as possible to my kin and tried not to listen to the voices outside.

It was a quiet day. I only saw the bigger kin a few times that day. Papa walked by when the sun was high, his dark fur looked heavy on his skinny body. He looked tired and sad. Mama wasn't around all day. I couldn't even smell her around the den. We didn't eat much besides a couple mice.

As the sun went down my kin and I all piled into the den, hungry and without Mama to say hello to us. I stayed up and listened as my kin soon fell asleep. It was quiet outside, the bigger kin weren't talking. Quietly, I poked my head outside, I couldn't see Mama anywhere. I began to worry as I sat outside and looked around. What if she got lost, just like the littlest sister? Fear began to sit in my belly when I got up to go to Papa. I was going to wake him up, but he looked really tired. I stared at him for a while, then I wandered into the woods to try and find Mama.

It took awhile but I found Mama's smell. I followed it around the woods, trying to find her. I looked around in the dark, until I found her white fur far away. I trotted over to say hello, but I stopped. She was standing over something on the ground. I couldn't see her face, but I can tell she was pulling at something. I sniffed and I smelled meat, and something else. I stepped closer to get a better look. The meat she was pulling at was big, bigger than me. It's fur was covered in dark stains, but it looked like Mama's fur. It looked a lot like Mama. And the bigger kin.

Mama spun around so fast I jumped, falling on the ground. Her face didn't show any feeling, and was stained. I crouched low, afraid of getting yelled at for being out at night. I looked at the bigger kin laying on the ground, then back to Mama. She saw me look, and stepped in front of my view. "Sweetheart, it's alright. There's nothing to be afraid of." She smiled at licked her stained nose as she said to me, "He just fell down and hurt himself, he'll be alright. I was staying with him until he gets better." She paused, looking at me. "Would you like to stay and watch him with me?"

I was nervous. Mama didn't look angry, even though I broke her rules. I walked forward, and Mama's tail gave a soft wave of kindness. I trotted up and pressed my shoulder against her stained leg, and she nosed my head, "''M sorry for being out at night. I didn't mean to. I was worried about you," I mumbled.

She gave a sigh and said, "Its okay sweetie, you did what you thought was right," I picked my head up and looked into her brown eyes. She smiled under all those stains. "I promise I'll be at the den more. I love you all so much." My chest felt light and my tail wagged. I pressed my face into her soiled chest fur as she licked my head and neck. The licks turned into teeth. And it hurt so bad. I felt something break. Then I didn't feel anything anymore.

Author's Note: This story has two new things I tried out. First being 1st person POV. Second being that I do not have any OCs in this story. These are all random wolves.


End file.
